Are your Wants, really your Wants??

I keep seeing all these questions about getting what you want and how to achieve your goals. the thing is that do you really know what you want. and yes, the suppose you are wanting something do you really think that it is really your want .

See , its like this . whatever you are wanting is so that it will make you happy. now , i have read in many books and articles . that suppose you are wanting money. it is better to really ask for the thing that you need money for.

when I read that i thought , yeah that is a good idea. so i got on to thinking why i needed money. i thought that i wanted an ipod. so how much money would be needed to get an ipod. a few hundred dollars. but then i felt that ,wat the hec, suppose i do get the money to get an ipod and i buy one. is that really going to make me happy. umm, maybe just for a few days, i would be happy but after a few days that happiness will die down. Maybe i could show it off to my friends and they would say wow. but that would be just for a few minutes.

ok, so the ipod idea was dropped. i figured out it wasnt a very good thing to buy for just a little bit of happiness.

i thought about what about a having money for a trip to umm, say USA.
the following ideas came.
suppose i reach usa. then what. i didnt know much about usa about the places. it was all a reaction of my mind. people who had been to usa had told about their experiences and told how happy they were. this was sort of imprinted in my memory.and sort of subconsciously, i started thinking that going to usa will make me happy. although not knowing how. i figured out that suppose i even reach there , then what. i would be going to some places there and have a good time. but still that would also be short lived.

so this idea was also dropped. i didnt need these things. these desires were just coming up automatically by listening to people's responses and reactions when people achieved these things.my desires were coming up from memory, just an automatic thing. i really didnt want these things. i was under the illusions that these things would give me happiness.

i thought even harder. about why i needed money. a response came up , that i would be free to do the things that i would like to do. and be able to do whatever i want. people would look up to me.
when i tried to do the things i would like to do. i could just think of maybe playing tennis and practicising some arts like taichi and qigong.
but these things also could not make me really happy. the happiness in all these things was short lived.

i just could not think of anything that would make me happy except freedom .this idea i have got from nonduality . I am just a changed person now. the things which attracted me before are just not seeming attractive anymore.i find that most of the things are meaningless and based on memory and the built in responsed of the body which we are unable to avoid.

so, the point is that first try and find out what you really want. people go on changing their goals every now and then and keep thinking that that is really what they want. but is it actually so.

find out.