Thursday, September 30, 2004

change should be from the inside

i had asked for some healing from the reiki groups and was told that i should do the visualizations and affirmations.
the problem is that i am unable to visualize myself as successful .
i can only see myself as failing.
whatever task i start , i cant see myself successful in it.
whatever course i do and whatever things i learn, i keep doubting and fearing that whether i will be able to perform the task . whether i am good enough for doing the task or job or whatever.

It is because some very strong beliefs inside and visualizing and affirmations seems to work from the outside.
i think i need to change from the inside. maybe i should let go of wanting to be successful. maybe i should try and stop resisting my situation and condition and accept it . i should be accepting it and try to love myself as i am without trying to change myself.

somewhere inside i feel that maybe success is near and sometimes i just go in a downward trend and feel down. feel that nothing would work for me. there are many ups and downs and i am just sort of being swept.

whew, i have written too much. somebody send some healing fast.
want my story to be a rags to riches story where i go from low self esteem and everything bad to a successful person with high self esteem and a charismatic personality . pray for me.
Faraz Ahmed
author of self help & spirituality blog


At 5:50 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Faraz
You are certainly no failure. You say that youmeditate but you seem to be very busy, busy so do make time to relax and 'listen' to whatever may be out there. I would suggest a session at the end of the day, a comfortable position, lights out and naked if you are comfortable with that - as little outside stimulation as possible and just 'let it be' I am sure the answers tomany of your questions will come to you.
Best wishes to you

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